An interesting observation...

...was made last week by a friend from far-off (a fabulous milonguera, teacher, performer and overall swell gal). As she sat on the sidelines at the most popular milonga our fair city has to offer she made the following comment (and I paraphrase, the quotation marks are for emphasis only):

"Many of the women here seem to invest a lot of time and money to improve their dance and to become better followers. Unfortunately, from what I have seen in classes and workshops in NYC, only a small group of leaders works as hard or invests as much. I think it is sad that these women, who invest so much in themselves, then go to the milonga and dance with anyone at all (i.e. including those who put little to no work in their dance)." She then continued to point out how counter-productive such actions are - by dancing with leaders who push them around or manhandle them (and who obviously have not invested as much), the followers not only devalue their own hard work, but also fail to create enough incentive (i.e. social pressure) to encourage the leaders to improve their skills.

We have often spoken with friends about the leader/follower problem in NYC - the problem being that at most milongas followers outnumber leaders to such an extent that even experienced and sought-after followers spend a good part of the night scanning the crowd in what can only be described desperation - and came to the same conclusion as the milonguera above. However, I do not think that we ever quite formulated the problem in such a poignant and accurate way... I believe her assessment to be spot-on - this is really about valuing to the fullest the time and effort (and money) each of us (whether follower or leader) puts into our dance.

A follower or leader who practices, and invests in him/herself and in their dance should not toss these hard-gained proverbial 'pearls'. The ones who do not put in the work should not be allowed to free-ride on the hard work of others - why should a leader who does daily exercises for balance have to support a follower who (purely for the lack of ever doing a back-step on her own) is unable to move without using him as a walker? Why should a follower who has practiced her sensitivity and active following be manhandled by a leader who pushes her back to indicate a forward step? (Please note that these distinctions have nothing to do with the amount of experience people have - it is important for the health and development of any tango community that the more experienced dancers (i.e. those who have the privilege of being more selective in their choice of partner) dance with leaders and followers of all levels, not just the people at their same level of ability.)

Well, I guess that in a community where the leader/follower balance is more even, and almost the same percentages of leaders and followers are active in their learning/practicing process, an issue like this does not arise. The problem is created when the community is as unbalanced as the NYC community appears to be (a community containing a small group of VERY dedicated leaders and a much larger group of relatively dedicated followers) - it is not outside of the realm of possibility that a hard-working follower might not dance at all during a night out... And what is the point of working so hard if you never get to actually show your beautiful molinettes on the dance floor? (apart from the fact that so few in NYC actually lead them, but that is fodder for another entry). So we grin and bear it, and are happy to be chosen (at all) out of the multitude of shiny Comme-il-Fauts.

The question really comes down to - do we dance at any price? And the answer really should be NO - even if in the short run we might NOT dance... By saying no, and not dancing with leaders or followers who push us around, hang on us, manhandle us or force our bodies into uncomfortable positions, we are sending them a message that they need to invest some time in their basic leading and following skills. I might even extend this a little further to leaders and followers who dance without ever understanding where they are in the music, whose sensibility to the body of their partner is no different than if they were touching a coat rack, who continuously repeat the only three steps they did learn with a metronome consistency (this applies to followers also!), or worse, who try every single step they have ever learned (without having really mastered any) in the course of one song. But that is just me...

SO leaders, followers, take pride in your hard work, and don't give your polished gems to just anyone who comes along (although I do believe you should try something at least once - just do not repeat unless you have a good experience!). If we as a community (and we all have to, otherwise this will not work) give value to hard work and practice, our collective enjoyment of this dance we are passionate about can only increase. A good leader is not a leader who does a lot of things, but one who does whatever it is he does WELL- meaning comfortably, without hurting the follower, and by creating a space where both can enjoy and express. The same applies to followers...

Putting in the work only makes it more likely for this to be the result...